Vest

A wannabe; a person with limited authority – not a “suit.”

“We thought we were petting the right guy to pull the trigger on this project, but it turns out he’s a vest.”

- Tom, VP of Marketing

Twitsack

A Twitter member whose tweets serve to primarily annoy, repel or alienate the community at large. Twitsacks, like their offline relatives, douches, rarely recognize themselves as such.

“About to get jiggy with 3 other CIOs on this webinar!! So pumped to connect with my customer!!”
- @theweb20guy, Twitsack

Super-cherry

Someone who has no experience, but an eagerness, to do a job or task.

“Yeah, Toby ’s super-cherry. He worked in the mailroom, but he’s pretty good at talking, so we brought him up to sales.”

- Jim, VP of Sales

(Thanks to BPR for this one.)

Gym-Flam

The scam in which a gym employee sells sells an expensive membership to a person they assume will never use it.

“You know that guy we always see driving to the bus stop? I knew he’d be a good mark, so I totally gym-flammed him.”
Clint, Gym Membership Consultant

Lift the Rock

To reluctantly deal with a situation that you know is ugly.

“Have you seen the consumer complaints regarding our new customer service outsourcing initiative? I don’t even want to lift that rock.”

-Shelia, V.P. of Global Efficiencies

Roofie Roundup

A business opportunity that seems excellent at first, but is, ultimately, regrettable and violates everyone involved.

Refers to the date rape drug, Rohypnol.

Bob: How can we be losing money??? We signed a billion dollar contract with them!

Jeanette: Sorry, Bob. That one turned out to be a roofie roundup.

Code Plaid

Threat level alert for top level executives to scramble because of inept team leadership.

“I just got my ass handed to me by the client. I’m pulling Steve off the account and calling a Code Plaid.”

– Frank, CEO

Straw Dog

A negotiating tactic in which a mediocre option is set up to be knocked down, in order to make the second, more desirable, option seem more attractive.

“I’m concerned Mr. Ice won’t stay silent in exchange for $84. Let’s give him a straw dog first – how about dangling him out a hotel window?”
- Suge Knight, Record Label CEO

Hit the gumball machine

Reusing something that was successful in the past.

“How the hell am I supposed to finish a sales proposal in four weeks? Wait – I’m just gonna hit the gumball machine and tweak the one I used for that Sony presentation last year. Lunch?”

- Trent, VP of Sales

Gingerbread House

A company known for placing young, eager, entry-level employees in high-pressure positions, and underpaying them. Generally used to indicate exploitation.

“Hey! I need somebody to shave my corns before my next meeting. Cheryl, get that Zach kid in here. I’m not running this Gingerbread House for nothing!”
- Thor, COO